Dear teenager, Money or happiness?

Welcome to adulthood, or at least a couple of years into late teenage-hood when you’ll be expected to have a clear plan on how your future will be like. It all seems pretty exciting at first when we take on this humongous task as though we are pros, but soon we realize that there’s more elements to planning a future than a movie date. Whether we want it or not, the day will come when we have to answer to society about how we have decided to define ourselves through professions. We will suddenly be showered with unwanted attention that we weren’t familiar in all of our young past, and the worst part is, we cannot get out of it. Now, when you’re reading this, I assume you are one of these three people:


Number one: You are a student who, regardless of whether you are good in academics or not, or involved in extra-curricular activities, you are completely unsure of what you want to do in life. Of course depending on your family background, you have either grown up in a household where you were taught that money is everything, or in a household that valued relations , love , and family values more than anything in the world. You are confused about what you really want in life and have a breakdown whenever you think about it, or ignore the matter completely thinking that there is still time .


Number two: You have strong opinions when it comes to taking decisions about your future and have a definite plan that you know will take you from point A to point B. However, this little voice in the back of your mind comes up every now and then to tell you to consider something beyond the plan you’ve painstakingly created for yourself. And you are left confused, but not as much as person one.


Number three: You are not entirely clueless, neither do you have a definite plan. You are good at so many fields that bring you contentment, but you have a hard time deciding on one. You think long and hard about this, and some friends and relatives try to give you their perspective , just to help you out, but it only seems to confuse you even more!


So, after you have identified yourself from one among the three, I’m going to tell you to sit back and relax. If you don’t have a proper chair, no problem, just relax . And if you somehow found yourself completely different from the three generalized “types” above, again, RELAX.
The facts of the matter are, whosoever you may be , are two things: Happiness comes before anything. Jot that down in your mind.

The second thing is that you definitely need a career plan.You are not alone in this struggle for finding a way to define your identity in this modern era. You are not the only one at whom fingers are being pointed at by family and friends. You are not the only one being compared to your same-aged cousins . YOU ARE NOT ALONE.


Ask yourself this, and it may seem like a very Clichéd question, but where do you see yourself as in about forty years? Do you see yourself doing what you love, having given rise to a wonderful happy family, balancing both your professional and personal life, or do you see yourself grinding away day and night, making a lot of money doing what you thought you loved, but can’t help but think of it as a curse, and without a soul in the world to care about you ‘cause you put money first instead of being more human?


It is quite pitiful to know that a lot of people, who seem to be living luxuriously are in-fact so anti-social and emotionally burdened that they are sometimes witnessed taking rash decisions and even go to extreme measures, so as to end themselves in frustration.


Okay, leaving all that aside, let’s see how we should probably go about preparing a realistic career plan. But before we begin, I’d first advise you to trash society and what it has to say about your choices. And once you’re sure you are ready to make the right decisions for yourself, go through all of those events in your life, where you felt you were at your peak performing level, and actually felt good about it. It can be academics, a hobby that could potentially be a source of passive- income, or a sport you know you’re good at.


If you are really into science, or math, or any other academic field , or if you are a good dancer, singer or writer, or if you enjoy being a sportsperson, or if you’re good with computers, I don’t see a reason why you shouldn’t pursue them.
Somebody once said, that one must be able to love doing something so well, and much better than the others, that people actually pay them to do it. But beware, you mustn’t dive into multiple fields of your interest just because you’re fascinated by it for you’ll then end up as a mere “Jack of all trades” and a master of NONE. And we don’t want that.


If you enjoy acting, or if you are good with words, go for it. If you have won several accolades in a field and things are quiet obvious you would excel in it, then go for it. If you know you are capable of becoming a good teacher, go for it. If you have a burning force in you that is passionate about something and wants to do it well, then GO FOR IT.


Of course, things will not look so good initially, and you’ll probably sleep hungry or tired for days on end, even have sleepless nights during the time you’re working hard on something. But you’ll still stand out one day, for it is you who is passionate about something that only you know the most about..and have never once thought of giving up. Maybe you are a surfer, in a little hut on a coast, dancing with the waves trying to make your mark, or maybe you’re a research scientist, having locked yourself in your laboratory, working till the dead of night, or maybe you’re a writer like me, coughing up thousands of words everyday ‘cause they help show you the marvels your imagination can conjure.


The point is, find something you love doing and be passionate about it. It could be anything , and there are no boundaries. And strive to do it well than anybody ever could by learning from the best mentors. Never think about stopping, for if you do, you might as well drown yourself in a sea of people who have lost their self-worth and identity.


All the best. ❤️

Letting go..

Have you ever grown attached to certain things or even people and perhaps found it hard to ever imagine your life without them in it? Well, though it is not necessary that this weird separation anxiety will  cause harm to you, there are instances when a person becomes so blinded by his or her insecurities that he or she forgets the big picture and falls into a state of narrow mindedness for a passing red herring. I admit that like a countless others, I have fallen into that chasm of anxiety myself. Needless to say,   it isn’t  always a red herring that passes by, but rather certain people and experiences  who touch the core of our consciousness in a way we had never known before. It might be the death of a  beloved family member, a companion , a pet, that triggers the fabrication of such a frightening chasm of the mind, etc.

However, death isn’t to be blamed all the time. It can be a simple factor such as distance that separates you from being in company with the person or thing  you desire.  It might be a friend of yours whom you grew up with, who suddenly had to relocate to a far off place and over a period of time, and lost touch with you, only to remain as a happy memory. I personally went through a dramatic transformation in the way I perceived mortality and the purpose of life itself, when my grandmother passed away. I vowed to myself that I shall never attend another funeral after hers. This of course resulted in a lot of angry fingers being pointed at me, but I was too bent upon in grieving for my granny to let such things get to my head.

There are times when you realize that sooner or later , something that you take for granted in everyday life, doesn’t last as long as you think it would have. For instance, I have spent two years of my life here at Aloysius, growing as an individual and developing my identity and as time flew past, I was  met with numerous experiences which have now taken a special place in my heart and mind. Given the fact that I can’t stay here as a student of SAPUC forever, it still bothers me that I can do nothing to manipulate time for my own convenience. In my case and a countless others as well, we form intimate connections with our immediate environment, our personal workspace, our colleagues , and other people we meet. When we are young, we seem to be so impatient to pass on to the next level and can’t wait to become adults..but after having tasted this newfound freedom and having felt empowered , conferred by this  state of extra ordinary awareness, we wish we’d stayed as kids who saw the world through curious little eyes rather than becoming bored ever so often due to the lack of new stimuli.

We seldom approve of unexpected “goodbyes and farewells”. We go to unusual heights to deny the obvious, all for nought and in vain. We must understand that it is inevitable to suffer a loss or two on this perilous voyage of life. No amount of tears or countless prayers can stop what was destined to happen sooner or later. The trick is to accept reality and move on, growing stronger , wiser and more equipped to deal with similar situations in the future. Tears well up in my eyes every time I take a stroll through the college campus on a holiday, when flashes of memory hit me in the face when I look at specific structures or trees or classrooms that I am far too familiar with. The library especially has a tale of it’s own; numerous books, some that are timeless, the ever smiling librarians,the fellow book-worms you only exchanged glances with, it was all too lovely. The canteen is a hub of a million more stories. Us friends have had many a good laugh surrounded by the aroma of food, and have exchanged jokes, worries, tears, smiles and everything in between.

I don’t mean to say that we never encountered unpleasant moments during our time here as students…it’s just that, even if we did, their  impact as such , is far trifling than that of others. Moments of pure bliss never fail to overshadow dull ones. It is indeed hard to accept that soon..all of this will just be a clump of memories in the back of my head..as years will go by, times will change, people will change, governments will come and go, replacing a seat of power with one maniac after another, but one thing will never change..like a thousand other students, it will be up to people like you and me  to treasure these memories and not let the fast pace at which the world is moving overwhelm us..

So…. what does it mean to truly let go?   Let me put it my way :It is to honor the memories of people or experiences by acknowledging their impact on our growth as  human beings while at the same time respecting the decision of  the Almighty and his plan in the grand scheme of things, regardless of whether your interests line up with his or not.

So I personally ask you to do this: Enjoy all the precious little moments of happiness that comes your way. Treasure them in your heart and smile whenever you get the opportunity to recall them. And for the unpleasant memories …try to extract a lesson out of them, for they are those that will better equip you, with tools, skills and much-needed experience to deal with similar situations in the future.

 

A First time for Everything…

An unforgettable day

I was doing it again. I was all hyped ,with my heart beating at the tip of my tongue. My feet tingled and pricked as though I was waltzing on a mat of thorns. I took my phone out for the hundredth time, like that would make the time go faster. When I finally saw the rickshaw which would take me on the trip to heavenly bliss , I wanted to cheer ‘hoorah!’. I practically dived into the vehicle before giving directions to the guy.  Eventually I met up with Andrea and then with two other guys whom I wasn’t acquainted with before. Andrea ordered something called a Smirnoff that everyone claimed was a vodka based drink.  She introduced me to the two guys, Keith and Ronald. Keith was an artist and Ronald…let’s say he did some sort of …art? .  Andrea got Keith to show me his works , and my my my were they bloody impressive! I found him to be very knowledgeable with a hint of healthy self respect .Ronald on the other seemed to be an airhead who was really good at lightening the mood. Did I tell you I was washing down on Old monk and Pepsi that whole time? Well now I have. I don’t remember doing much after that….except for eating a little chicken. I don’t know…everything seemed funny to me. And it wasn’t because everything was in particular..it was just this idea that things weren’t in my control anymore , and the cozy feeling growing inside me just like when I was a kid, when I was the responsibility of some adult whom I trusted , or just surrounded by folks who wouldn’t abandon me.

Anyways, in order to convince myself that I was actually drunk, I made them ask me a couple of questions , and BOY were they good at it! Then we ate more chicken and the three smoked cigarettes. I don’t quite remember what followed next, except for the crappy piano music that was killing my mood.      

Soon we were joined by a few more people..was it three? Four? I don’t remember. See? This is the best thing about drinking! I have finally found a way to let loose and have fun without keeping track of any variable…..However, no amount of drunkenness (is that a word?) can make me lose track of the money being spent. That’s something I am proud of. Apparently all those songs about drunkards, booze and drunkenness( somebody pass me a thesaurus) are not really nonsensical after all. I remember talking about astrophysics at some point and then about magic and illusions and I don’t know what the heck I was spewing out.

I was pretty against the idea of drinking in the first place let alone sloshing the booze in my mouth . But now that I have done it, it feels a bit strange…and good. Of course, I don’t recommend drinking(that’s only ‘cause I puked twice before getting home or else this would’ve been a whole different article).

I don’t really know how to conclude this piece of writing, which again is strange to me. Maybe not everything requires an ending. Alcohol sure has ruined the lives of many, but I know that’s only when people go overboard and get drunk for the wrong reasons.  All that abuse and carelessness amounts to nothing. Civilizations collapse, people die, people kill, women are beaten, children are orphaned but at the end of the day , the people responsible for these happenings are either dead, dying, missing, or just sitting there, loathing in their own disgusting worthlessness, trying to put the blame on somebody else.

Alcohol shouldn’t be administered as an everyday escape method, to the stress we undergo everyday. Of course , everybody has problems, all of us get angry and are prone to doing things that we’ll regret , but that doesn’t mean we need to put all those innocent people who are tolerating you in the first place in jeopardy. In my case, Alcohol made me see a new side to my own personality. It taught me how to make new friends. It taught me that it won’t hurt if I break away from worrying and have a good time once in a while. 

Alcohol is not the solution or the cure to everything. Look at it like it’s a painkiller. Let’s say you have diabetes and you fuck up one o’ your limbs so bad , you need to get it amputated . Now, If you look at the limb as the problem , then any sane person would agree to get it removed surgically as that’s the solution. An idiot would say that he’ll ignore the pain and survive on painkilling drugs for the rest of his life. Alcohol is only something that eases the effect that stress has on our bodies for an awfully limited amount of time. When you live alone and you’re with trusted companions and you know what you are doing , go ahead, have a good time. If you live with old people/women/children , you better get your drunk bum to bed and put the lights out like a good boy .. and if you’re someone who takes out your frustration on your folks just because you don’t have the balls to deal with the problems , which you’ve dragged your sorry ass into , then I have one thing to tell you , “ GO HANG YOURSELF!”

LOL. I mean , at least you won’t be that much of a drunk miserable nuisance anymore…

After all, like they say….a first time for everything!

Growing up…

It’s been 17 long years ( and 2 months and 36 days). This year I’ll be 18. I don’t quite like the idea of becoming an adult, accepting responsibilities I never planned to, or being forced to always have this desire to be accepted by society. I look at the mirror and then at my old photographs as a kid… and see that those childish looks, beady innocent eyes, smooth skin, tiny frame, have fleeted away from me, just like that, without a warning. I am expected to clear my high school and start college this year. Of course, I don’t have any problems with that; I watch people fulfilling their academic dreams all the time. They then get a decent job, become self-sustained, get a partner for life, raise a family, retire and here’s the weird part: They die….

Look , I am comfortable with death and the concept of passing on to a new realm after our souls depart these mortal vessels that we have for bodies. The thing I feel strange about when I see a countless sea of gravestones, under which lie hundreds of the deceased, is that…these people, who lived the ‘perfect life’,  scored perfect scores, worked the ‘perfect jobs’ , raised the ‘perfect family’, yet they lay there lost among hundreds like themselves having lost their identity, submitting the fate of whatever remains of their body to the forces of the universe. Those people never found themselves. Yes. I had the nerve to say that. Those people were once like us, they ate, they slept, they dreamt, they loved, they laughed, they hoped and the sad truth is that they lived a life that would please those around them, they conditioned themselves like machines in order to be accepted by society and now they just lay 6 feet underground.

‘Society’ is a hypocrite . She teaches us to be selfless and to be of service to our fellow brothers and sisters ..all while robbing people of their dreams, pure desires and independence. I hate this feeling. This feeling that soon, I will become a part of this never-ending nightmare, that soon society will play her fiddle and grab hold of me, blinding my conscience to the core, binding me to the ends of her tresses, and leave me yelping for my life. I fear the day I look at my reflection and ask,” This is what your existence has come to?”  , the day I realize that all my suffering, humiliation and strife would be for nothing.

History has shown us that it is never one of those common sheep that gets to stand out. It is always the bravest, the most innovative and the ones that dare to dream that gets to stand out. The rest get eaten by wolves or are butchered. Once I start college, there is no turning back. I will have initiated a chain reaction. The same one that more than 98% of the worlds population does every day. Only the faces are different. The game remains the same. I’ll never be able to break away from this dreaded chain till I undertake all the responsibilities I am expected to take…till I work my ass off and find myself on my  death bed I will be bound by societal limitations . I will be crippled and forbidden from pursuing things that make me feel complete and satisfied. Just thinking about these things give me the chills.

Someone once told me, “Do what is good.” , and the pressured little me had asked, ”What feels good or what is morally good?” Yup. That’s how confused I was.

I want to explore myself, find what makes me tick, what makes me happy. I want to work out, learn martial arts (I’m so skinny and weak that I wouldn’t be able to push a dead swine off of my chest to save my life). I want to compose hymns, write a book, learn a new language,travel, see new places, meet new people, check things off my bucket list, get out of my bubble and discover myself.

Uggh!   I want to take a gap year so badly!  Hello 2019!

 *wink*  *wink*

The Nightingale of refuge

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The soft glow in her eyes outshone that of a little child. Every breath that filled her bosom bore the painful cries of souls that needed a healing touch. Lines on her face caused by tears from countless prayers,  carved hills and valleys  through her skin, and added more beauty to her cherubic face. One of her hands caressed the disfigured face of a weeping child,  the other fed crumbs of food to a starving woman.She had sworn to follow Christ and to serve the underprivileged after having left home at a young age of 18. She was a teacher and a model of grace and compassion. Wearing her white cotton saree bordered with blue, she scanned through the forsaken streets of Calcutta, looking for  victims of the Bengal famine,  silenced souls that needed nourishment . The grace with which she spoke made it seem as though it was the Holy Spirit himself who spoke through her. In suffering and humility she tended and nurtured the weak in flesh and spirit.  Her gentle feet kissed the Earth as she tread the merciless ground. It was the very ground that couldn’t yield enough fruit for animals, let alone humans. Like a determined mother, she tended the wounded, she fed the hungry, she became a beacon of hope to all who sought comfort.  She not only provided nourishment to those who could be saved, but also gathered those who were dying , under her protective wings. Many of her sacrifices and painful toiling have never seen the light of day. It was too late by the time modern medical aids or the media could reach and witness the mother giving her all ;body ,mind and soul to those who found it physically impossible to even reach their arms out. Throughout her life she lived a life of simplicity and did what she could to share the abundant love that stemmed from her very core.  In the waning of her life spent in service, she met with a fall and suffered from respiratory problems simultaneously. She went through a heart surgery , but the doctors knew that it wouldn’t help her rapidly declining health condition.  Though she was a foreigner to the land, she represented the subtle purity in the beauty of an Indian woman.  Let’s carry this legacy of hers, to be selfless in service , giving our mind, body and soul to aid those who are less privileged .  Peace be with all.

A Price to pay

alcohol alcoholic beverage celebration
The familiar background, bathed with hues of orange and scarlet, lay behind the lush green valleys. The sun sat on the immeasurable horizon, meditating, waiting to demonstrate his grand exit beyond the unreachable. The small world that the Price family knew had diminished like always. What would appear eerie to an outsider, the familiarity of this deathly tranquility had rendered it all commonplace for the indigenous dwellers. That evening, however, was unarguably uncommon even for the poor Prices. A young, strong and handsome, Alex Price had been standing in front of a rotting old contraption of a carriage for an appallingly long while. The event that was to take place was not something that had plagued the family by surprise. They had been expecting the fateful day their only son would be snatched away from under their protective wings by ‘Insensitive Overlords on high horses’.

The most beautiful black horses that Alex had ever laid eyes on neighed impatiently whilst clanking their metal-like hooves on the worn-down tarmac. Behind him stood his mother, shaking and shuddering while she held on to a hand kerchief. There she was, weeping till her bosom housed no breath, her eyes defied her as she looked at her ‘little’ boy, who had, much to her disappointment, grown all the way through his prime teenage hood. She was not ready to thrust aside her child like a trifling possession. The very idea made her blood run cold. Not far away, sat grandma Esther, her cherubic face glowing under white wisps of satin. She had been sitting on a slab of cold stone, leaning against the white washed walls of the family’s ancestral abode. Her lips quivered with unspeakable agony. Her arms weren’t idle however, for they had been cradling a four year old girl; Alex’s little sister, who would grow up, ever unknowing, how it would feel like to have a big brother watching over her. She had painted a card for him the other night. Alex had helped her make it. She broke free from granny’s arms , giggling like there was no tomorrow, only to run into her brother, who, after spotting her, thought how much he would miss her, and how he can’t be around when she would need him . As he bent down on his knees to receive her, she planted a gentle kiss on his fore head, before shoving the painted card at his chiseled chest. He traced the outline of two stick figures, a tall one holding hands with a shorter one with long hair. Next to it was written in clumsy writing ,’Big brother and me.’ He knew that if he willed, he could just stay home and hide like a coward while a thousand others shed their blood. But no. He knew that these sacrifices were necessary, at least to aid in his growth to become stronger and wiser. The breakage of bonds.

In the distance, a loud bark was heard. Everybody’s attention flew towards it and to their surprise, the family’s pet German shepherd was sprinting towards Alex, his broken chain dangling on the collar. Alex received the now whining canine too, as he was still kneeling down on the rough tarmac which threatened to scab his knees. They embraced each other for what seemed like eternity. They had grown up together. Memories that they had painted along the fabric of time flashed through their minds, but neither could utter a sound. It was time to say good bye. ‘Best friend…’ Whispered Alex before one of the servants led the dog away from him. Inside the carriage sat Mr. Price. His bearded chin rested on his giant palm as he leaned against the window. His soul had been weeping since the crack of dawn. His only son, his only friend, his most valuable asset, his blood, was being taken away from him, and the worst part of it was that Alex did not even protest. According to him, he was about to gain honor for doing this for his mother land. All that Mr. Price could do was to stare dumbfounded, watching his boy become a man on his own.

The war had been severe. The bloodshed had begun two winters ago and more men who had come of eighteen years of age were given strict orders to report to the Military Academy . Those who refused would be dragged out of their homes like animals to a slaughter house, but it was not like so, for Alex as he had readily agreed to join his people in battle. Farmers like Mr. Price were ordered to keep the food stock in balance and increase crop production, while the industrial workers were trained to forge weapons of war. There was no sign of the war coming to a standstill. It was destined to last till one of the two foes, who had locked their horns, had slain the other to have his head placed on a golden platter. The death of a thousand soldiers was, but a trivial loss to the government.

The driver of the horse carriage had been asleep all along, unresponsive to the gales sliced with nervous tension. How would he not be? He was one of them.

The silence was interrupted yet again by Mrs. Price’s wailing and sobbing. ‘ Is there nothing you can do to stop this madness? Don’t you love us?’ she cried. Fearing that she might wake up the slumbering driver, Mr. Price growled lowly from within the carriage ‘It’s not his decision to make, if the king says he needs his service, then away he goes!’ He was glad nobody noticed the slight shaking in his voice. It was a lie of course ,that it was the government’s decision alone. Both knew who had submitted to the royal orders, and was mentally prepared to bleed on the battle grounds. This worsened the state of misery that was already crawling under their skins. The women broke down in tears, only to see that they had woken up the driver who thundered ‘SILENCE!’ before he looked around him with a satisfied grin on his sly face, and behind him, when he saw a grumpy, middle-aged man, where a handsome lad should have been, he pointed his finger at him and spoke in a monotonous tone that sent shivers up everyone’s skulls. ‘Mr. Price I presume? You are not permitted to accompany your son to the Military Academy. You may get off the carriage this instant. Refuse and you will be seriously dealt with by the imperial one himself.’ And like he had been ordered, without a sound of protest, Mr. Price jumped off of the carriage and hugged his son, and joked, ‘Kick his bottom for me when you return will ya son?’, enticing a chuckle from Alex. He nudged him towards the carriage before handing his trunk to him, subtly wiping a stray tear on his sleeve. Alex gave a subtle nod to the driver, who in response whipped the horses with vigor. The carriage jerked into motion before Alex lay back against the old oak boards. The carriage rode onwards, away from the lush green valleys, away from his home, until he could neither hear his mother weeping nor his baby sister calling out to him, ‘Big brother!’

‘I have to survive’ he thought, as he was clouded with bittersweet memories ‘without Mummy’s kisses and Daddy’s smiles…’ By then, the carriage had begun lulling him into sleep. ‘I have to make them proud…’ he whispered. And so, his mind drifted off into a chasm of visions without his own restraint. Images of him fighting for his motherland filled him with newfound zeal. He imagined himself striving endlessly towards excellence, towards victory, under scorching sun, hail, snow and rain, Never stopping till he had slain those who posed a threat to his motherland, until he puts an end to all suffering , until he returns home…to the ever loving , ever welcoming arms of his family back in the deep valleys.

The journey was long, two nights and a day to be exact. Right above his carriage, a pandemonium of parrots dotted the now unfathomable purplish, sun kissed sky. The pine trees that lined the road, swayed side to side with the wind, elephants trumpeted in the distance, and the monkeys screeched and chattered. In a far off groove of tropical flora, a pack of grey wolves howled with all their might, along with Mother Nature herself showering her blessings on him, all of them singing in harmony…

‘Good Luck Soldier!’

Let’s talk about Superpowers

 

gray dry tree illustration

Superpowers. Are they just enhanced abilities  that only a lucky few can acquire or are they more innate in nature, buried within each one of us, just waiting for the right trigger? In today’s world, where the preference to make-believe content far surpasses any attention paid to ground  reality, the first scenario makes the big bucks.  If you watch movies, you know exactly what I am talking about. We all know deep inside that each one of us is imperfect. Yeah, sometimes we speak openly about them, but most of the time we fail to accept ourselves as we are. No wonder we are so quick on our feet to judge those around us. What sort of an ability would you choose for yourself ? The power to manipulate the forces of nature? To make time your servant? To read minds? The list is endless. Of course, why wouldn’t it be? With the given intellect we possess being the most intelligent mammalian species that has ever colonized the planet we are still stuck with dreaming about what we lack ,rather than what we can accomplish with the resources we already have. So, have you decided yet? What superpower would you want? It’s probably something that could make it possible for you to fulfill a lost dream, a selfish one. Oh no, don’t get me wrong! It could be possible that you have a noble deed in mind; I’m just addressing the majority of adolescents out there who’ve been turned into delinquents because of certain circumstances or bad peers. Our emotions as social beings are very fragile, this is proved more than often by our eccentric reactions to the unexpected state of affairs that life puts us through. We tend to be partial when we are asked to choose what or whom we would save in times of crisis. This is natural. Sometimes we are forced to put ourselves under hypothetical circumstances in order to know more about ourselves, to dig deeper into our personality, and more often then not we are left questioning ourselves  “How can we be any different?”

Great souls have set foot on this land , dreamers and doers alike. Most importantly, they gave their all. Some shed their blood, some saw their kin being slaughtered like sheep, some gave up all their personal pleasures, some gave up their own goals, the news of a thousand such never saw the light of day…What kind of superpower do you think they had? Do you still think you need to be special in order to accomplish things of great magnitude? Spend a few seconds of your “precious” time and think about how easy or hard your daily life is. How many times have you adopted technologies in order to save more time and yet found yourselves loitering around the place? The worst part about this is that today, we are using ALL of resources to make humanity lazier and lazier in the name of productivity, without even realizing it. Teenagers today would rather binge watch a whole TV series than feed their hungry pet. They’d rather play for hours, sacrificing their health and sleep than say “Hi” to their friends in real life. No, a little entertainment won’t hurt anyone. But seriously? Would you choose “curing” your boredom over addressing serious matters which require your immediate attention?

Look around you. Yes, right now! Tell me how many electronic devices you’ve surrounded yourselves with? Go on count them. You probably have some to help you  counter the weather , a heater or a cooler a fan or a conditioner(depending on what time of the year you’re reading this), or you might have a clock on the wall or a watch on your wrist(depending on where you are), you might have a phone lying in front of you or in your pocket or backpack  , if you still don’t know what I’m getting at, look closer . You have complete mastery over your environment, how you eat, how you solve problems,how you travel, how and what you breathe, it’s all right in your hands. You might have been really excited before getting these things to aid you in your daily life, you might also have spent many an hour having a good time exploring the new Gizmos , yet you realise  sooner or later that the excitement does not last. Don’t you think even superheroes go through the same hell? All their abilities and all that strength robs them of their right to perish, and on their shoulders they are expected to carry the burden of the entire planet, and when something goes wrong, they are the first ones to be blamed. Now tell me, do you still think superpowers are cool? Good for you! ‘cause hey! You are the one emptying your family’s hard earned money after all.

Hmm, what would I choose for a superpower if I could? I would choose the ability to grant powers to other people! Hey, wait a minute, that would just overthrow every other argument I just made! But just think about it..Being able to grant the power to love, the power to empathize, the strenght to forgive, the will to keep moving, the power of persistence, now THIS is a list I like. After you are done reading this article, no matter where you are or what you are doing , I need you to take a break and step out of your mediocre regime and just ask yourself the following questions:

1.What have you been missing out on?

  1. Have you fallen prey to your ego and failed to compromise with someone close to you?
  2. Have you had the urge to do something that your gut told you was the most sensible thing to do , yet you ignored it?

These questions will come and go, sometimes they’ll catch your attention, sometimes they’ll pass right under your nose without you realising it. But that’s not important. It’s more than enough if your eyes are open to truth.What counts is the thought to make a change..so are you ready to become a superhero?

-Adanesus

The story of Creation : The Fall of Man. IV

Now, the serpent was the creature most crafty among all the wild animals that God had made. When the man and woman were among the fruit trees, he crept up to the woman, taking her by surprise, and asked her, ” Did God really tell you that you mustn’t eat the fruit of any tree in the garden?”

The woman , unaware of the serpents deceiving nature replied, “We are allowed to eat the fruit of any tree in the garden. But God did say, ‘ You must not eat the fruit from the tree that I’ve planted in the garden. You must not even touch it, or you will certainly die.”

” Oh dear woman, you would certainly not die, and to think, why would God allow such a tree to exist in the first place?”

He grinned villainously as he saw the confused expression etched across her face as she pondered over the serpents’ words.

“God knows that if you eat from the tree of life, your eyes will be opened and you will become like God , and know what is good and evil.”

The serpent crawled across the jungle grounds and vanished among the dense foliage, leaving the woman to herself after planting the seed of temptation in her .

She looked over towards the verdant garden, every drop of dew on the leaves of the sweet smelling fauna and every drop of water from the fresh streams that meandered through it, was shining and shimmering like a million diamonds.

In the middle of this unrealistically beautiful creation of the Lord, sat a grand tree that towered over every other tree, spreading it’s magnificent canopy over the entire garden.

Behold! The Tree of Life!

When the woman saw that the fruits that the tree yielded was good for food and looked pleasing to the eye, her desire to be as wise as the Lord God himself , grew intensely. She took one of the fruits and bit into it, then gave some to her husband who was standing right next to her.

Then at once , their eyes were opened and they knew they were naked, so they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. And they heard footsteps of the Lord God walking in the garden for he enjoyed the cool of the evening, and the man and his wife hid themselves among the trees of the garden and did not wish to be seen by the Lord God. But the Lord God called out to the man and said, ” Where are you?” His voice bellowed through the garden, rustling the leaves .

The Man answered, ” I heard the sound of your presence in the garden, and I felt afraid for I was naked , and I hid myself.” The Lord God asked, ” Who told you that you were naked ? Have you eaten fruit of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”

The man said, ” The woman whom you put here for me , she gave me the fruit of the tree , and I ate.” The Lord was quite angry. He said to the woman, ” What is this that you have done? ” And the woman answered, ” It was the serpent who deceived me, and I ate.”

The Lord God’s face bore the look of utter disappointment and pure fury. His anger drove all the creatures of the Earth and the seas into their homes , he then said to the serpent,

“Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and above all beasts of the Earth; all the days of your life you shall move on your belly and eat dust.

I will put enmity between you and the woman, between her offsprings and yours. He shall crush your head and you shall bite his heel.”

To the woman he said,

“I will multiply your pain while giving birth to your child; in pain you shall bring forth children.

Your desire will be towards your husband and he shall rule over you.”

And to Adam he said ,

” Because you have listened to your wife and have eaten the fruit from the tree of which I commanded you ,

‘ you shall not eat of it’ ,

cursed is the ground because of you ; in pain shall you eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles shall grow for you ; and you shall eat the plants of the field.

By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for you were taken out of it;

For dust you are and to dust you shall return.

Me and My PhD- The need to be remembered

agriculture animals baby blur

I sit at my computer, typing away at the keyboard . Beads of perspiration and the baked air speaks for itself about where I am. Yes, I am in Mangalore, the pride of coastal Karnataka , and that too in the dead of summer. I am half way through my twelfth grade .I moved in to my PG housing a year ago and I had the opportunity to get around town and up to speed with everything going on. The “new” academic year 2018-19 began a couple of months ago , two months in advance to be honest. I aspire to become a biotechnologist. I had a thing for science and research from when I was a kid and as I grew up, my mind yearned more and more for more familiarity with the fascinating world of science. Initially I wanted to become a Doctor, an Orthopaedic surgeon for personal reasons, but I went through a series of events and experience that knocked the medical marbles out of me . I am writing this to share a few of my experiences that I found quite noteworthy during this self analysis that I went through , at least for another fellow PhD aspirant.

I have been a student at St. Aloysius for more than a year now and I have specifically chosen Physics, Chemistry, Biology as my core subjects. The fourth subject is Home Science(Don’t judge me).I still giggle heartily when I recall my first day at the institute. I don’t remember much of it, other than the disappointed expressions of an unfortunate little fellow from a North-eastern state of the country, when he realised how anti-social I was .We are still great friends. Let’s call him Kelumberg. Yes. I just made that up to hide his identity, which I will be doing for more people to appear in this article(Though I might have given away his identity already at some point). He must have felt rather awkward trying to start a conversation with me all those months ago. Let me now tell you about two girls I encountered on one of the first few days. Let’s call them Portia and Mauve. They scared the rats out of me as they were trying to get me to open up to them .Of course, they thought of my shy demeanour as a ridiculous attempt to get the “good nerd” title. They might have been right. Mauve had really beautiful eyes though. Then there is this other girl, lets call her Evangeline. At first she seemed to be like one of those people whose bad side you wouldn’t want to be on , but once I had gotten to know her better, she proved to be warm, caring person who in my opinion would be an amazing mother. I still questioned myself why I had thought of her as a grumpy person in the first place. And on that very day, when I had breathed a sigh of relief that things couldn’t get any worse, I was met face to face with my first crush. Lets call her Andrea. My heart knew no joy while at the same time I tortured myself mostly from internal conflict . Alas, when we had just begun establishing a mutual concern for each other’s well being (not romantic), flashes of images of me having failed in my goal to achieve my PhD dreams and turning homeless ,raced through my mind. I decided that I shouldn’t let my mind wander off into LaLa Land , no matter what. My mother and father once had “The Talk” with me exclusively about the instances when some long forgotten relative fell in love and had met his doom due to a failed marriage . Those stories haunt me and never fail to shiver my spine even to this day. Andrea was one in a billion ….literally(pun intended). She was very strong and mature minded and seemed like someone who knew what she really wanted in life. There were times when things weren’t going well for me and she was the one who noticed first. She didn’t rest till she’d made me spill the beans about what was going on, she even sent me to the counsellor once. Believe me, I was quite irritated indeed that she was prodding into my personal life when no one was ever meant to, but now that I look back I’m glad she did. We still talk every day, we are like a pretty gang, Me, Andrea, Evangeline, Mauve , Portia, Kelumberg (Not to mention, his girlfriend Brittany) . Unfortunately I cannot possibly reveal too much about Andrea without giving away her identity. Let’s stick to the notable fact that she was an even crazier science enthusiast. She is still one of my role models and I hope I still have the privilege to be remembered as one of her acquaintances in the future.

I was always an introvert, never a chatty person, however excited . I reserved my time for my cats, my books, my plants and my God( And sometimes Andrea). Yes, I was a very spiritual person. I believe that it somehow gives me peace, just knowing that there’s someone stronger who can protect me. And I am telling you dear reader that even you deserve peace . The kind of peace that I dream of having once I’d lay my hands on my PhD. I was a huge TBBT fan(The Big Bang Theory ) as a kid, I still am. If you are familiar with it then you are probably aware of the jokes cracked at poor Howard’s expense just because he didn’t have a PhD. And that had pushed me to the edge even more, however ridiculous the motivator it seems to be. The more I thought about my academic future, the more anxious I grew. I also fell in love with writing,as I did with reading, which of course was supported by friends and family. Of course, I could never forget the support of my mentors at this very home of learning. Mrs Shiney Clifford and Mrs Deepthi Rani M K. If they are reading this, I will be very honoured indeed.

The days are flying by as I make wonderful memories with the friends I have made. There have been bimonthly tests, two midterms, more class tests , assignments , preparatory exams, loss of sleep, until the day of the final exams, the mother of all exams, is expected to slap me on my cheek with a dirty wet towel. I still imagine myself , having written my exams, just wandering the plane of my existence aimlessly with my fingers crossed, drooling all over the place as I fantasize about how people would address me as “Doctor”. On the fateful day, the day my ultimate progress report would be shown, the day I know that would spell my doom. I see myself being as jumpy as a monkey, quite excited to see how I performed until I receive the report card in all its’ glory which would shock me, mock me and spit at me , telling me to kiss my PhD dreams good bye. I saw myself angry . Angry at everything, disappointed with myself and ready to put the blame on the number of friendly contacts I had established alongside the feelings I had for Andrea . I saw myself standing corrected, proved wrong…about how things cannot always go the way I intend them to. The mental agony that would follow the unspeakable abuse that I would inflict upon my own self would not be any less than Hell. I would be really heart broken indeed, for things would probably start looking down from then onwards and the worst that could happen would be if I ever stooped to the level of ridiculing myself and then trapping myself within the walls of depression.

Despite all these nightmares and insecurities, I still find the time to break away from the flow of this river and do something for myself. Things that help me fall in love with myself , through music, literature, cooking and caring for pets. I’ll be writing my PU board exams soon. The rate at which things are happening overwhelm me. I sulk in silence for I know that the most dreaded moment will arrive again..the moment I say ‘Good bye ‘ to the people who made the two years of my life beautiful, friends, teachers, the plants, the tress, and for the first time in all my existence I wonder and ponder and worry about how uncertain the destination is and how difficult the road is to establish paradise on Earth . Whenever I would mention this to friends or family, they would pay me with their laughs and chuckles. I do still think about it though, the fact that most of humanity will fail to mark their footsteps on the sands of time. I mean, the thought of becoming a PhD holder did sooth my nerves a bit, but it wasn’t enough, for I still feared to imagine a future where my name would be long forgotten, washed away by the waves of mediocrity . I have even begun to accept this as one of my many insecurities….Being forgotten. The sad part is, not a lot of people care about what happens to them after they die, their memories or what legacy they pass on to the next generation.

For anyone out there, who’s reading this, all I want to say is, that things will not always go the way you intended . Sometimes you will ridicule yourself and even attempt to undertake extreme measures to undo what has probably gone wrong. Sometimes , on a lonely road you will feel vulnerable and will fear for your life, however strong you make others believe that you are. Sometimes at home, or God forbid, in the middle of a lecture you might get lost among the hundreds of tantalising thoughts about your future. The above mentioned signs don’t mean that you are dwelling in the never ending sea of uncertainty as well . Every body has weaknesses and strengths.. It does not matter if you are crippled physically or mentally. What counts is the power of thought , the need to make a change and the will to survive all odds.

So that’s my goal, to leave this world with my name etched on a rock, never to be forgotten. Somewhere in a rural village , there’s probably a child who wants to build a better world . He or she might have hospitals and schools in mind, and somewhere under a busy bridge a woman feeds a child while tutoring poor children who would do something great , if provided with adequate resources .Many a decades ago a boy had been selling tea, now he sits on the highest position that one could hold in a nation, and another boy had been studying under a street light and is now remembered as the most influential president and the missile man of India.

Imagine you’re looking down from a tall building at a huge crowd ..what do you see? Nobody right? I say that because what’s before you is an endless blur of faces, swimming from one end to the other, you don’t recognize anyone. Just ask yourself, why don’t you recognize anyone? Why does a single face not ring your bell? What makes you different from them? What are you going to do to stand out from the crowd and embrace your uniqueness?Time is fleeting dear reader, it’s time to do something big, something unforgettable. It’s time to stand among the shepherds, not the sheep. A sheep follows it’s flock, either to green pastures or to the slaughter house. One dies today, the other is killed the next. It is pointless to spend most of your life fearing that fateful moment. Time tarries for none……Make the best of it.

The Story of Creation : The Mother of all Mankind. III

The sun rose like it would everyday just like the Lord had said. It shot its rays here, there and everywhere else , and wherever they fell, creatures of the day from birds, squirrels and bears to grand Elephants and Rhinos , came to life who otherwise would be in deep slumber. Owls retreated back into their cozy abodes and bats returned to their caves while plants and tress rejoiced as they were bathed in the warm light radiating from the early sun. The sun shone on another creature too. A being made of dust cast in the image of the creator himself. Yes. Man.

He did not need a companion, or so he thought… What did he even need one for? Food? His Father had planted fruit trees for him, water? The rains from the heavens and streams quenched his thirst. Companionship? He had tigers and wolves and bears to do his bidding. Why did he need them? He does not know, but something still nudges him, every hour of the night making him feel lonely, and yearn for contact. He was very disturbed indeed. heart racing, he walks casually towards a hot spring, fed by thermal sources underneath, resting upon a glassy surface , his path lined with round, smooth pebbles. He didn’t care that he was in his birthday suit, ’cause where he stood, he was the master. The monkeys jumped from branch to branch, chattering and gossiping , it almost sounded like they were calling out to him saying “Adam! Come play with us! “. He flexed his aching muscles in the soothing water, washing away pain into oblivion, he had started to drift off to sleep and he peered his eyes open just to make sure he wouldn’t drown. But little did he know, it was the Lord God himself who was lulling him to sleep. He had seen his child yearning for a companion, yet unable to ask. The Lord God , being the loving father he was, thought that his child should not be alone anymore and that he would make a suitable helper for him.

Of course, God had made Adam name all the animals of the world, but during that time, no suitable helper was found . He then realised that there couldn’t possibly be a better helper for the Man , than another of his own kind.

So while Adam was asleep, The Lord God tore open his chest and took one of the ribs. He closed the wound with flesh and then proceeded to grow the rib into a living woman.

When Adam woke up, he was met with a pleasant surprise! There stood before him, the most beautiful creature he had seen since his time on Earth. She resembled him in a number of ways and something urged him to feel protective towards her.

Then he declared:

“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man.”

And that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Though Adam and his wife were both naked , they felt no shame , for the Lord God had created them in the way they were.

Here’s a good book for you!